How to save a marriage is a topic on a lot of peoples’ minds that have marriage problems. Are you and your spouse on the edge of divorce? If you are, you’re not alone.
Every year in the United States alone, there are nearly 1 million divorces filed. This is an astonishing number!
The main question is how many of those marriages could have been saved. Unfortunately, nobody keeps track of those numbers. It’s also hard to find the stats for those couples that actually stay together.
Can your marriage be saved?
If I could answer that question, I would be a rich man. What I can tell you is that, if you have marital problems and you do nothing about them, you will be headed for divorce. However, if you take action, you have a much better chance of saving your marriage. As hockey great Wayne Gretzky says, “You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.”
There are four simple steps you can take right now to save your marriage. Notice that I said simple, not easy, there is a difference. But if you follow them, they will provide you with a path to save your marriage.
Here are the 4 steps:
1. Stop playing the blame game.
Quit blaming your spouse and quit blaming yourself. Some relationships get stuck in a pattern of blame that suppresses any progress that has been made. Instead, any momentum is slowed and keeps getting slower.
Blame just prevents us from seeing ourselves clearly. It also prevents any change. Blame is simply fuel for divorce.
2. Take responsibility.
You must understand that taking responsibility is not the same as taking the blame. Instead, blame says that no matter whom is at fault, there is something I can do differently and that’s what I’m going to do.
You can tell the difference this way,
If you’re in a burning building, you can try to figure out who started the fire, why it’s spreading so fast, and who you can sue when it’s over (blame), or you can get yourself and everyone else out of that building (taking responsibility). When you’re having marriage problems, your house is on fire. How will you take action to save your marriage?
3. Get resources from experts.
If you think about it, many couples have been helped before, and you can be, too. There are many experts out there with a great deal more experience and perspective that can be a life-preserver in these situations. Do a little research to determine the useless from the useful, then take action with the useful.
Don’t believe that your situation is different from any other situation. Although the story may change, but the dynamics are usually the same.
Remember what Albert Einstein said, “The significant problems we have cannot be solved at the same level of thinking with which we created them.” In other words, what got you into a situation, will not get you out of that situation.
You need to adjust your level of thinking. That is what you can expect from an outside expert. He or she can offer a fresh set of eyes.
4. Take action
You can do more damage to your relationship by doing nothing. Don’t let yourself get paralyzed by the circumstances. Therapists quite frequently mention “analysis paralysis.” This happens when someone gets so involved in their emotions that they never take action.
You need to do more than just understanding the problem to know how to save a marriage. You must take action!
Learn how to save a marriage…
If you follow these guidelines, you have an infinitely better chance to save your marriage than if you do nothing.
Marriage is one of those things that takes two to make it work, but only one to mess things up. You need to know how to save a marriage.
You can further your research by checking out my recommendation for a great resource for saving your marriage.